Fire
by Rebellwithoutacause
Summary: One-shot focusing on Trudy and her final moments in the battle for Pandora. Song fic. "I swear I saw the missile as it came towards me, enabled to do so by all that sharp detail one gets just before they die." R&R


**_Hi guys! Yes, I'm alive, shocking isn't it? I loved Avatar from the moment I saw it in theaters and I'd been wanting to do this fic for a while but I never got around to it. The other day I was watching the movie and was re-inspired. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews please? My muse loves them. =) Oh, and if anybody is wondering, the lyrics here are the words to Fire (Aim Your Arrows High) by VersaEmerge. _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Avatar. I also don't own the lyrics to the song I posted. _**

**_Warnings: Charrie death but that's about it. Oh and cussing, but I'm pretty sure you knew that. XD _**

_Take a look around_

_Our time's almost running_

_Give back what you get_

_Uproot questions in your head_

_The looking glass is clear_

_What you want is near_

_Nearly gone_

_Shoot out all the lies_

_Hold your ground_

_We'll hit the sky it's time_

_You aim your arrows high_

_Take down all the doubt_

_Cast it out_

_Let's do it now it's time_

_We aim our arrows high_

_Zone into your soul_

_This is out of our control_

_Be who you need to be_

_There's no other you or me_

_The looking class is clear_

_What you want is near_

_Nearly gone_

_Shoot out all the lies_

_Hold your ground_

_We'll hit the sky it's time_

_You aim your arrows high_

_Take down all the doubt_

_Cast it out_

_Let's do it now it's time_

_We aim our arrows high_

_Our angst we hold_

_We gotta let it go let it go_

_Said to myself_

_I'm so alone but I'm never alone_

_I walk in war to find the impossible_

_Yes we're hexed, stuck in a mess_

_We're all such a wreck!_

_Shoot out all the lies_

_Hold your ground _

_We'll hit the sky its time_

_You aim your arrows high_

_Take down all the doubt_

_Cast it out _

_Let's do it now it's time_

_We aim our arrows high_

_Shoot out all the lies!_

_Shoot out all the lies!_

_Aim your arrows high!_

_Aim your arrows high!_

First day on Pandora, Quaritch warned us that everybody wouldn't survive their tours here. That everything beyond the fence at Hell's Gate was bound and determined to kill us. The raking scars on the side of his head seemed to echo the truth of those words. Not many chicks came out here to Pandora, and even fewer of them were pilots like myself. I was damn fucking proud of the fact that I had clawed my way up the ranks and was in charge of my own ship now. But Quaritch has that certain ability to frighten people, to make them twitch with vivid mental images. I was certainly twitching with nervousness the night before and the morning of my first flight out into the jungle. What kind of monsters would I find? Would we be attacked, butchered, killed? Maybe even eaten? All of that was in my mind as I started my tour.

Except that after my first few flights, I realized the inaccuracy of Quaritch words. The jungle was a violent, untamed place, full of raw beauty and dazzling intricacies but it was not the hell that Quaritch would have us believed it was. And the Na'vi. They were not the hostile savages RDA would have had us believed either. They were primitive in certain ways compared to us, but all of that goes straight out the window when you look at what they are actually capable of. Humans had to manipulate and bend metal and fire to our will in order to be able to fly, to even survive at all on Pandora. The Na'vi tame nature itself, the wildest thing out there. Impressive when you think about it.

I hadn't been on my tour very long when I met Jake, but I'd been on it long enough to know Quaritch intended to make use of meat like Sully. I knew from right off Jake was a good guy but like most people, he was doing just what he needed to do in order to survive here. That was fine by me. I was perfectly willing to fly my baby in and out of the mountains, enjoying the jolts in my stomach when the flux vortex forced me to fly on manual. Just to feel the raw power of my ship humming in my hands; there was nothing else like it. I had a certain high degree of empathy for the Na'vi warriors that flew on the banshees. I knew what it was like to spill through the sky at speeds you thought for sure would claim your life, only to jerk out and roll over, the sky and the earth mixing in strange blurs of blue and green as your senses leap and your heart slams between your teeth.

And then everything changed. When I stayed up at the mobile link with Jake, Grace, and Norm I realized that even my sympathy with the Na'vi was nothing compared to what was really going down there in the forest. Day by day I saw Jake becoming immersed into life with the clan, how much it was changing him. It was changing me too. Every single flight back to base I began to have more and more resentment. I had started to forget what my own home planet was like, instead becoming completely immersed in the massive world of Pandora. Everything was more raw, more wild, and so much less complicated than everything had been on Earth. Its kinda sad, to think that I came out to the most hostile environment known to man and it made more sense to me than Earth ever did.

As I continued to watch Jake and the way he began to lose sight of Quaritch's orders, I knew that shit was going to hit the fan, it was only a matter of when. I tried not to listen in on his video logs. I felt those should be private, but in such a small space, I couldn't help but hear snatches of his inner turmoil. I felt bad for the kid. But when he went and pulled that stunt with Neytiri (and by stunt I meant screw) I had to say my sympathy had shortened up quite a bit. Come on, you have to know that is not going to blow over well. But I guess he couldn't have known that the bulldozers were going to hit the clan's territory the morning after. Maybe if they had come sooner this wouldn't be happening.

It hadn't taken me very long to decide to bust Jake, Grace, and Norm out of lockdown. I remembered the way I felt hovering in my ship ready to fire on Hometree. The sick twisting in my stomach because I knew that this was wrong. My finger hovering over that red button that when pushed would make me no better than anybody else. Sure I could have said I had to follow orders, but I didn't. I placed the cover back on the button and I wielded my ship around, taking out my anger on my gunman who was decidedly disappointed. And it was that same sickening feeling at the thought of Jake, Grace, and Norm being imprisoned and who the hell knew what was going to happen to them, not to mention to the Na'vi, that convinced me I had to do something.

Nobody seemed to notice that I had peeled away and headed back to Hell's Gate but I knew that if I was found out, I was most certainly going to have my pilot license stripped. It was a risk I was willing to take. I couldn't just sit there and be a part of the death machine torturing those innocent souls down there. I had learned a lot in the military, but I had never lost my free will like most of the dumb grunts alongside me. I was not a mindless robot. And if it cost me my love, at least I still had my pride.

The entire time escaping from Hell's Gate I'd had not fear but exhilaration and adrenaline pumping through me. For probably the first time I was actively resisting, fighting for what I felt was right, not what the company told me to fight for. And I knew in my heart it was the right cause. We were aliens to this world, we had no right to strip it and destroy it after taking what we wanted. We'd already carved and hollowed out our own planet. We had no right to do the same here.

I don't think it became real to me the danger that we were all in until Grace died. For me I think that was when it really set in. Someone I knew, someone I cared about, and someone has strong and as fiery as Grace had been was killed. It was a shock to my senses. After that everything became so much more detailed, so much so it was enough to make me dizzy for a while. The vibrant colors of Pandora swirled around me in a haze. I'd gone to tend to the damage on my ship, the cool sharpness of the metal helping me to refocus and resolve myself.

I knew in my heart Quaritch wasn't going to just let us go without a fight, and I knew damn well that Jake wasn't going to let us just cower down and be destroyed. He'd send us out to fight, and he'd probably fight the hardest himself, because that was just how Jake is. It was ok with me, but I wasn't going to lie and say I wasn't scared.

When Jake called me and Norm into the mobile link to talk I knew he was going to deliver some very bad news. You could see it in his eyes and in his face, the heaviness on his heart. I put on a brave face, settling into my sarcastic shield that had served me well my entire life.

"And I was hoping for some sort of tactical plan that didn't involve martyrdom." I said dryly as Jake looked at me and Norm, but particularly me. Max had just delivered the bad news, Quaritch was rolling the gunships and the shuttle as a bomber to destroy the Tree of Souls. I had a large gun in my hands and as I sat back and observed Jake, I leaned the weapon against my shoulder, enjoying the coolness of the metal against my skin, unable to believe the shit that was rolling down our shoulders.

But the more Jake looked at me like that, like he was about to ask me for something I didn't want to give, I felt compelled to give a heavy dose of reality. Not that the mood wasn't dark enough, but there were certain facts that we couldn't deny.

"We're going up against gunships with bows and arrows." I could have cursed myself for saying it as soon as I did, but it was the truth. It wasn't like we didn't know, but someone had to say it. Might as well be me.

"I have fifteen clans out there. That's over two thousand warriors. We know these mountains. We fly them, you fly them! They don't." He looked directly at me as he said this. I could tell he was trying to bolster my confidence. Even now, after all this time and all the shit we were in my ego gave a little pleasurable squirm. He was right. I did know these mountains, better than any other pilot on Pandora.

"Their instruments won't work up here, missile tracking, won't work. They'll have to fire line of sight. If they bring the fight to us, we have the home field advantage." Jake's eyes gleamed with a certain measure of confidence and it was to his credit that I couldn't tell if it was real or if he was just trying to brave for us. And as the voice of doom, I figured I might as well bring his little fantasy back down to the ground again.

"You know he's gonna commit that bomber straight to the Tree of Souls."

Jake's eyes hardened but he didn't lose that determined gleam of confidence. As heavy as my heart felt, as hopeless as the outlook seemed, that little gleam made me feel better. That battle hardened edge in his eye that told me he was never going to give up no matter what, and we shouldn't either.

"Yeah, I know." His voice was soft but unwavering.

Norm was decidedly less confident. "If they get to the tree of souls its over. That's their direct line to Eywa, their ancestors. It'll destroy them."

But Jake being Jake wouldn't let us come tumbling down. "Then I guess we better stop him." His eyes were glinting now, determination and strength shining in them as if we had all the odds in the world and nothing was going to stop us.

I wish I could have mustered up a gaze of my own like that, but I just didn't have the same confidence that he did. But I did lock eyes with him nonetheless and I offered him the best that I had.

Hope.

During the night all of the Na'vi were making their preparations, constructing as many arrows as possible, prepping the banshee or their strange horses, and themselves. It was the first time I'd ever been down on the ground really in their midst. Some of them viewed me with strange, suspicious looks. I was a human who flew one of the machines that had destroyed their home. Others however looked at me with a certain measure of respect. Like their banshee flying warriors I also soared the skies and I would fight alongside them.

I watched them adorn each other with war paint and brightly colored feathers threaded into their hair. I watched as they slid on different bands made of leather that had bones or symbols on them, necklaces made of beaded jewelry that probably meant something to them. There was a spirit of comradery and togetherness that I yearned to be a part of. But no matter if I flew alongside them or not, I knew I'd never truly be a part of their group. It was probably just as well, considering that I was probably going to die in a few hours. I wandered through the large camp before retreating back towards the mobile link. Once inside the safety of the link itself I removed my mask and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Hey."

I looked over to see Norm sitting at the desk. His Avatar was just outside the link resting peacefully on the ground, the face adorned with war paint giving the Na'vi creature an even fierce appearance than normal.

"Hey you." I said as I leaned up against the wall. Despite all the preparations we were doing and Jake's big talk I just couldn't shake that unsettling feeling in my stomach that tomorrow wasn't going to go well.

"You ok?" he asked. I sank onto one of the bunks and gripped the edge of the mattress with my fingers. It was strange how real all of the textures against my skin felt. I think I read somewhere that this is how people start to feel when they know they're going to die. They start noticing every little detail around them. I sure as hell was. It was cruel really, how you notice all the little things just when you're about to die. I couldn't make sense of it.

I shrugged my shoulders and didn't say anything. I didn't want to say the words I knew were squeezing my heart and making it hard to keep a straight face. I was somewhat kicking myself that even Norm could put on a better brave face than I could.

"Listen. It's gonna be ok. I promise." Norm's voice was bright, strong enough that I damn near believed him.

"Ya think?" I asked.

"Yeah. Jake's got a good head on his shoulders. And Toruk is big enough to take out a gunship on its own. And like he said, we've got the home field advantage." He smiled a quirky little grin that made me crack one of my own.

"Yeah, I guess." I said. I looked out the window watching all the activity outside and suddenly it dawned on me. "You got anymore of that paint?" I asked.

His expression brightened up even more. "Yeah, come on." He and I put our masks back on and then headed outside. It didn't take us long to rustle up some blue and white paint which we used to give my ship some pretty cool stripes. As I hopped off the roof after the last sharp nosed stripe was painted down the top of my ship Norm threw me another quirky grin.

"Now we'll know which ship not to fire on." He said.

"Yeah, that's a relief." There was some sarcasm in my voice, but even now I couldn't shake that edge of fear in my voice. I wish it would go away, it was bad enough I had to know in my own mind that I was afraid.

Just then a Na'vi came running up, skidding to a stop just before he bowled me and Norm over. He spoke in their strange guttural tongue and Norm responded in kind. The Na'vi ran off and Norm turned back to me.

"They want to talk to me about being on the ground front with them. You got everything from here?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll see you later."

He walked away and I turned back to my ship, patting the metal with my hand and looking up at the sky. I knew that when dawn came we'd be in position; my ship hiding in the mountains, the rest of the banshee and Na'vi riding them clinging to the cliffs, and Norm on the ground with the horsemen. The idea of my friends being in danger, with only bows and arrows to protect them made my stomach roll unpleasantly. At least I would have the metal of the ship to shield me.

I took the paint back with me into the link and despite the fact that I knew I should be trying to get some sleep I couldn't. I had way too much adrenaline in me to even think about sleeping. I had the horrible fear of death hanging over me, and as it grew closer and closer to dawn it became more and more prominent. My hands were shaking so badly that it took me clenching the metal desk at which I sat to force them still. God, how was I ever going to be able to fight like this?

I'd lost track of what time it was until I saw Norm come back into the mobile link. He saw me sitting at the desk looking out through the glass window and came and sat beside me.

"Did you sleep?" he asked.

I shook my head. "You?"

"A little." He said quietly. He looked over at me out of the corner of his eye. As much as I wanted to stare him in the face, to memorize all the details just so I would have something to comfort me with when the time came, I couldn't look at him. I didn't want him to see the fear in my face.

Norm smiled at me, that same little smile that made my heart warm. "Hey, come here. I've got something for you."

I turned to him quizzically, wondering what it was he might have and then he revealed a small string of feathers. I grinned at him and turned my cheek so he could thread them securely into my dark hair. His fingers were nimble and gentle, and tucked some of the dark strands behind my ear so he could admire his work.

"How's it look?" I asked, gingerly running my fingertips against the silky feathers. The texture astounded me. I don't remember ever feeling something so smooth and sleek before. I wondered if this was apart of the new intensity of everything around me or if these feathers really were that soft.

"Almost perfect." Norm said. When I tilted my head at him he smiled again.

"Close your eyes."

I quirked an eyebrow. "You're not gonna try anything are you? Cause I'm never unarmed you know." I playfully threatened him, but with just enough edge to make him dart his eyes.

"I'm not going to try anything. Just close your eyes."

I did so and heard him moving around a bit before I felt his warmth against my skin, but it was not in the way I expected. Because along with that warmth I felt a cool, slick fluid tracing from just past my brows, across my eyelids, over the bridge of my nose, and along my other eye. I shivered in surprise.

"Hold still!" Norm chided.

I relaxed again and felt another smear of what I assumed was the war paint come across my face. This time just a little lower than before. When I felt Norm's fingertip leave my face I gingerly opened my eyes and found I could see just fine.

I scurried over to the mirror and examined myself. I looked pretty badass, or at least I thought so. When I turned around to face Norm I smiled and he just gave me another sheepish grin.

"Thanks." I said.

"Here, this is for you as well." He handed me another object. It was a small armband with a large circle on it with intricate webbing that reminded me of a dream-catcher I'd had as a child. I slipped it over my hand and wrist and onto my upper arm.

I was struggling to find the words to speak when all of a sudden the first stream of sunlight peaked over the mountain's edge and gently touched the pain of glass protecting us from the poisonous atmosphere. Just as the sunlight touched the glass I heard the war cry of the Na'vi.

"It's time."

My voice was resolved. I was amazed that I sounded more confident than I actually felt. Norm looked confident as well. He actually smiled at me as he punched the numbers on his link machine. The machine whirred to life as he climbed in and lay back. I had the awful feeling that the link would become his coffin.

"It'll be ok, Trudy. Promise." He flashed me a smile.

I chuckled a little, but I think it was only to smother the sob that threatened to come up. "Sure, Norm."

"Close it would you?" he asked as he pulled the delicate little wires over himself.

"See ya later." I said as I grasped the handle to the lid of the link box and it pulled it down. It fitted over him nice and tight and then he slid into the machine. I turned back to the window and watched the flurry of activity as the Na'vi ran back and forth grabbing bows and arrows and their banshees. On the desk was my little headset that would link me with Jake, Norm, Tsu'tey, and Neytiri. I hooked it over my ear and then gently pulled the feathers in my hair so they brushed my cheek. I took my last deep breath as I left the safety of the mobile link for my ship that was parked right next to it.

As soon as I was inside, I started flipping the necessary switches to turn the engine on. As my baby growled to life I exhaled at last, knowing it was safe to breathe. The tingling sensation in my palms ran all the way up my wrists and into my shoulders. I rolled them carefully as I finished firing the engine up.

"Rogue one you copy?"

It was Jake on the radio. I switched it on as I flexed my ship's joy stick controller.

"Copy. What's the word?" I asked.

"Just remember the plan. Stay out of sight until you see Quaritch's ship. You have a better chance of being able to shoot it down than anybody else."

"Copy that. You be careful Jake." I said quietly. My ship's blades were spinning, chopping the air and disturbing all of the grass and plants around us. I gently pulled on the joystick and lifted me and my baby into the air.

"You too." I heard his voice over the radio but I was too distracted to respond. That first moment of lifting off was one of my favorites and I'd be damned if I didn't savor it.

The ground spilled out from underneath me as the figures below got smaller and smaller. I could already tell that the weather today was going to be perfect for us. The dawn was breaking clear and strong, not the usual misty air to clog my vision today. My instruments were already going haywire, alarms from every which way blaring and screeching in protest of the flux. I switched them off entirely and focused on the panes of glass in front of me. I wouldn't need my instruments today, and I was shit out of luck if I did because the flux wouldn't allow it.

I circled over the Tree of Souls and then flew into the mountains, comforted by the small fact that even if the gunships were already on their way they wouldn't be able to pick me up on the radar screens. I carefully maneuvered my ship in between some of the floating crags of mountains loosely connected by vines and waited.

The waiting was agonizing and the whole time I couldn't help noticing all the fantastic details that I had never seen before. The craggy texture of the rock, the intricate twisting of the vines, the softness of the mist as it rolled through the mountains. The flashing emerald green of the plant life that dotted the rocks here and there. And it wasn't just what was outside that I was noticing more now. I was very aware of how loud my heart was slamming my chest, how the vibrations from my ship ran throughout my entire body, the way my fingers curled around the controls, flexing nervously. The way it was almost hard for me to draw my breath because of so much pent up nervousness and excitement. Somehow in waiting for the enemy to show up I had decided that as soon as I saw combat and got to vent some of this raging energy I'd feel better. At least that was what I told myself. I wasn't sure if I believed it or not.

It seemed like an eternity before I caught sight of movement. I could see Quaritch's ship but I couldn't engage yet. I needed the cover from the banshee riders. If I plunged out on my own I'd be shot down before I had the chance to fire back. I had to wait for the opportune moment even if it was lethal on my nerves. The itching in my fingertips and palms to plunge my ship into battle and shoot that bastard right out of the sky was enough to drive me mad.

At last, with a battle cry that I could hear even over the constant purr of my ship's engine and blades, the Na'vi streamed down from the cliffs in a massive wave, spilling through the sky and plunging directly for the escorting gunships. I could see the massive shuttle and Quaritch's smaller but much more dangerous ship that would be enough to take down my gunship no problem. I had to play this carefully. If I wanted to survive, I needed to take him by surprise.

I left my safe haven as the Na'vi began to do battle and maneuvered around a rather large chunk of floating rock. I had seen the Toruk headed this way, and when Jake pulled around for cover I'd have my shot. My heart was between my teeth, my fingers clenching and releasing on the controls. My ship seemed to hum with a life of its own, itching for battle.

The bang and unsettling bumps of explosions warned me that my time was close. I sucked in a deep breath and armed my ship's weapons. Just as the last gun was ready and waiting Toruk twisted around the rock, Jake on its back, desperately trying to avoid Quaritch's guns. Time to go.

I flew my ship forward and squeezed the trigger, dozens of rounds streaming from the barrel of my guns, peppering the top of the Quaritch's ship with bullets. I smirked to myself as I whirled my ship around to face Quaritch himself. "Oops." I said as if he could hear me. I couldn't see him through the glare but he knew who I was, there was no question about it. In my mind's eye I could see his gnarled old head and face twisted with rage as I dare fire on him.

"You're not the only one with a gun bitch." I spat. I swerved into a complicated twist of boulders and vines to avoid his gunfire. My heart was beating so loud it was as loud as thunder in my ears but I ignored it and darted out from the rocks, firing again. Glass cracked and I could see the damage the ship was taking from my shots and for a second I thought I might have a chance.

But Quaritch's battle experience paid off. He recovered from my shots before I had anticipated he would and now I was completely exposed. Streams of bullets hit my ship dead on, cracking and splintering the glass, as well as hitting my ship's critical weak point, the joints of the wings. The machine whirred and grated with an uncomfortable sound as it took the damage. I dodged the next shots and fired my own but I was struggling to stay in control.

"Come on baby, hang in there." I switched to emergency power to keep myself airborne as my ship continued to spin. I managed to correct my heavy spinning but I could feel the shuddering and violent jerks of the ship and I knew that it was looking really bad.

I turned my head to see Quaritch, staring me down like a wolf will stare down its kill before it rips its throat out. My heart sank deep into my stomach and my hands clenched on my ship's controls. I swerved again but it wasn't because I directed the ship to. My left propeller had more or less given out and now I couldn't maintain level flight. I was headed for the ground but I knew that Quaritch wasn't going to let me live that long, not after what I had done.

"Rogue one is hit, going in. Sorry Jake." I leaned back and tried to brace against the hard shuttering and jerking of my ship.

I swear I saw the missile as it came towards me, enabled to do so by all that sharp detail one gets just before they die. I was sorry I hadn't been able to do more for Jake, for everybody really. I prayed Norm would be ok down there on the ground. As the missile hit and the heat exploded around me, I realized I had no regrets about any of this. I had done the right thing, and I got to go out in a blaze of glory. I couldn't have asked for much more than that.

_**Reviews? Please? Thanks! =) **_


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